These are excuse notes from parents (including original spelling)
collected by schools from all over the country.
1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E.
today. Please execute him.
2. Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had
her shot.
3. Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29,
30, 31, 32, and also 33.
4. Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.
5. Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he
fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his
face.
7. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football.
He was hurt in the growing part.
8. Megan could not come to school today because she has been
bothered by very close veins.
9. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.
10. Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose
vowels.
11. Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had
(diahre) (dyrea) (direathe) the shits. [words in ()'s were crossed out.]
12. Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had
diarrhea and his boots leak.
13. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.
14. Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.
15. I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping
because I don't know what size she wear.
16. Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We
forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found
it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.
17. Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to
attend her funeral.
18. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She
spent a weekend with the Marines.
19. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold
and could not breed well.
20. Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed
with gramps.
21. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.
22. Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.
23. Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever,
sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also
sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever
and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and
fever. There must be something going around, her father even got
hot last night.
24. Please excuse little Jimmy for not being in school yesterday.
His father is gone and I could not get him ready because I was in
bed with the doctor.
Children Are Quick
TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America . MARIA: Here it is. TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ? CLASS: Maria.
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?' GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L' TEACHER: No, that's wrong GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water? DONALD: H I J K L M N O. TEACHER: What are you talking about? DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago. WINNIE: Me!
TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty? GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are. _
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. ' MILLIE: I is.. TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.' MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him? LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand....
TEACHER: Now, Simon , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating? SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's.. Did you copy his? CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog. _
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? HAROLD: A teacher
Funny Video Clips
Brick is Special! - The Middle.mp4The Middle_ Brick loves Math.mp4
Kids Trouble at School (The Middle).mp4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mIMFL9wRaJE - funny videos of toddlers wiping out
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2D8jwyBJa50 - teacher teaching ABC's and principal trying to correct (coach) her. Could be great when including coaching humor or talking about scaffolding and how scaffolding is good but sometimes we attempt to scaffold too much.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/clips/p00ctlvg/the_one_ronnie_clips_blackberry_sketch/ -Apple/Blackberry video
http://crazythingsparentssay.failblog.org/ (Crazy Things Parents Say)
http://www.rd.com/clean-jokes-and-laughs (Reader's Digest)
Cheers- Normisms
Excuses
Authors: Unknown
||
Children Are Quick
TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America .
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have
ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
_
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree,
but also admitted it.
Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand....
TEACHER: Now, Simon , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your
brother's.. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
_
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people
are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher